Well, I said I would give you more in depth thoughts, because anyone who puts out 250K deserves 'em. Anyway, it's a solid start; you really nail the disorientation Dean feels upon waking up in this absolute wasteland, and I love how you have a slow filtering of knowledge back in. It comes in fits and starts, not all at once, what of his memory he gets.
Jena, of course, is delightful. Especially since I know the rest of the story. The wary, uncomfortable natures of the survivors makes sense, given all they'd gone through. It reminds me some of the series Life After People, except obviously some people remain. The discussion of blue sky in this first chapter is all the more amazing considering the last chapter.
I'd say it's solid. Dunno what you'd change about it, because as a beginning, it's excellent.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2014-02-18 07:03 pm (UTC)Jena, of course, is delightful. Especially since I know the rest of the story. The wary, uncomfortable natures of the survivors makes sense, given all they'd gone through. It reminds me some of the series Life After People, except obviously some people remain. The discussion of blue sky in this first chapter is all the more amazing considering the last chapter.
I'd say it's solid. Dunno what you'd change about it, because as a beginning, it's excellent.